My story begins in Dec. 2015 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Actually, it was Christmas Eve day. I can’t even describe, in words, the amount of fear that raced through my head! You see, I watched my sister die from Breast Cancer 10 years ago, so I knew what I was about to face. For weeks, I just cried and cried and kept thinking, “How could this happen to me?” "What did I do wrong?"
Well, the next month was absolute torture. The waiting, the painful tests, and my imagination was hell. My tumor was large, but thank God it had not spread to any other parts of my body. I was told that I would need chemo, a mastectomy, and then radiation. This was not good news. All of my life I have hated my small boobs...well, be careful what you wish for. This is not the way I wanted to change them. I was so small that I didn’t even fill up a double A bra. I kept thinking, “how could I have a tumor in my breast? what breast?”
I found the tumor in the shower one day. It was about the size of a nickel, so it was pretty hard to miss. All I could think about was that I was going to end up looking like a monster.
I started chemo in February of 2016. I had 6 rounds, spaced apart every 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I will never forget a single minute detail of those days. Still to this day, the smell of an alcohol swab makes me nauseous. I opted not to have a port, even though they really wanted me to get one. I endured the chemo pretty well the first 2 rounds, however, then I started losing my hair. I’m a redhead (thick and straight) and that was always the thing I got compliments on, especially from older men, which was the most embarrassing thing that happened through the whole process. I have never been so depressed or felt so ugly than I did during this time. With these feelings, I made the decision, to go by myself to have my head shaved. I sobbed throughout the entire process. This was my choice, because I was too embarrassed to let anyone go with me. I was smart and got a wig that matched the style and color of my hair, so hopefully, no one would notice. Let’s just talk about wigs for a minute. I describe them as being like a bad bra that you just can’t wait to rip off when you get home. I am, however, very thankful that I had a pretty wig to wear. After about the 3rd round of chemo, I got a rash all over my hands that burned and itched like a mother. I almost lost all of my fingernails and my eyes didn’t see as clearly anymore, I had neuropathy in my hands and feet, and I puked my guts out every time. The chemo definitely felt like I was dying a slow death. By the last round, I didn’t think I was going to make it. I wore the Neulasta Onpro auto injector after every chemo treatment for my white blood cell count. It made me feel like I had the flu, along with startling the crap out of me every time it went off!
In the middle of all of this, I started my search for a plastic surgeon. This was a whole new nightmare. The first couple of plastic surgeons that I talked to were men, and let me just say that they lacked any and all compassion. One of them had the nerve to tell me that I was a high anxiety patient and that I would never be satisfied with the job because all I did was I cry during the appointment. Had I not been in shock because of what he had just said to me, I would have throat punched him!! When the nurse came in with a folder of information, I pretty much told her to tell him to shove it up his ass and that I would never set foot in his office again. Once again, I came home and cried myself to sleep. Both doctors told me that I would need a Tram flap or Deep flap, which basically meant my back would have a huge scar. Having a scar on my back was a problem, because I am a competitive Country Western Dancer and my costumes are backless.
I was just about ready to give up (I felt so bad and I was so tired from the chemo poisoning my body). I don’t even remember how I got her card, but I called Dr. Aldona Speigel’s office in the Houston medical center. I will never forget the angel that talked to me for over an hour. She was Dr. Speigel’s PA, Jackie Harris…and let me just say, it had to be a “God thing” because she said she hardly ever answered the phone at the office. She made me feel that I had finally been heard, and she pretty much knew everything about me. Jackie always joked about being, "the tough one" in the office, but she was MY angel and I will never forget what she did for me. She gave me hope that I could get through this and look like a normal person again. In May, I had a bilateral mastectomy. I had 4 drains, and man, did those things suck!! They were uncomfortable and annoying. About 3 weeks later, I had to go into surgery again because the skin that was directly over the tumor was too thin to support the expanders immediately after the mastectomy. When they went in at that 3 weeks, the skin had thickened enough to support the expanders, and they went ahead put them in.
Expanders are like having hard plastic balloons in your breasts. I had to stay over night in the hospital and by accident, I was put on a liquid diet. Well, let's just say that Morphine and an empty stomach do not go well together…so, I puked all night. After a while, I finally said, "forget the Morphine" and just dealt with the pain. That mistake was not even the doctor's fault, it was the new computer system the hospital had rolled out the day before my surgery. Lucky me!!
Each week I would go in and have Dr. Speigel use enormous syringes to inject fluid into the expanders. I told Dr. Speigel that I wanted to have an athletic look and she said that was a good expectation. I laugh now because I am a C cup, which is much bigger than I ever was prior to Cancer, but believe me, this is not the way I wanted to go about getting boobs. I had looked into having implants put in years before, but I chickened out. I always thought I had a low tolerance for pain. That was NOT TRUE.
As I write this, I am reliving the hell I went through. I have put off writing this for so long…but I know that in order to heal, I need to have my story heard.
Before I could have the expanders replaced with implants I had to endure radiation because they found Cancer in a one of my lymph nodes. The radiation was not the worst part, but the position they put me in during each of the treatments was awful for my neck. Two years prior to my cancer diagnosis, I was diagnosed with Occipital Neuralgia, which basically means the nerves in my neck act stupid and give me weird pains.
I hated going to radiation. It was such a sad place, and they had all kinds of donuts, cookies, and sugary foods just sitting there for the patients. What the hell!?! don’t they know that sugar feeds the Cancer? That, I will get in to, in a bit. I finished the radiation, but I had to wait until June to have the expanders replaced with implants because of the risk of encapsulation was too high.
June finally arrived and I was ready to have surgery, but my labs came back and my white count had tanked. We had to put surgery off another month. July was here. I had the surgery, and man, did it feel so much better having the implants. Ever since the radiation, I have been dealing with the side effects of tight skin, but Collagen helps a lot. Oh yeah, I just remembered that I had to do all of these stretching exercises to get the mobility back in my arms. They would not let me raise my arms for a while and those muscles atrophy quickly. That was a royal pain in the butt, because I am not good at waiting.
Somewhere along the way, I had to get clearance for surgeries from my heart doctor. I didn’t get cleared for one until they did further testing. Of course, this sent me into a tailspin, wondering if the Cancer had spread. Come to find out, one of the arteries that goes along the back of the heart is missing. Most people have 3 but I only have 2 and this casted a weird shadow, which looked suspicious, but it turns out that it’s not big deal. I had several little hiccups along the way that caused worry, but, thank the good Lord nothing was ever serious.
Still today, I go every 6 months to get blood drawn to check tumor markers and, of course, I freak out every time. Drawing my blood is a pain because they can only get blood from one arm now and that arm never cooperates. There were many times I never thought I would make it to this side of the fight, but along the way, I changed.
My biggest question was always, WHY? If I didn’t understand why this happened to me, how could I make sure it would never come back? My doctor ran multiple gene tests and thought that since my sister had breast cancer, I would have the BRCA gene mutation, but nope. He said he had no idea why I got it. There was no explanation.
This simply would not work for me, so this is where my husband came to my rescue. My husband is a Functional Medicine Chiropractor and he dove in and started doing research to find out everything he could about Breast Cancer. He put me on supplements to make the chemo work better and to help with the side effects. He also put me on supplements that got my immune system back where it needed to be so I didn’t have to skip a chemo. He did tests on me that showed that I did not throw my estrogen away properly, but I threw it away in a Cancer causing way. He also found out that I was exposed to black mold, and I am missing a gene that helps me detox properly. I also ate a high carb diet which probably fed the Cancer. I was also put on Levaquin which is a nasty antibiotic and a very high dose of steroids for what we thought was a sinus infection, but turned out to be the Occiptal Neuralga I mentioned earlier. I was also under an enormous amount of stress because I didn’t know what was wrong with my neck for so long.
All of these things could be contributing factors to why I got Cancer.
My husband was there for me every step of the way. He held me tight at night, talked me off of several cliffs, cooked for me, cleaned up after me, bathed me, rubbed my bald head, juiced for me, went to all my doctors’ appointments, and a whole bunch of other things. I thought I knew what love was until this happened, and now I truly know what love is. I love my husband with every ounce of my being and I could not have gotten through Cancer without him, my sister, my son and a few friends who were by my side the whole time. I also did, and still do, many natural things to give me every chance possible to beat this horrible disease. I juiced, did hyperbaric therapy, used an infrared sauna, did yoga, meditated, went through counseling, and learned everything I could about being healthy…which led me to becoming a Primal Health Coach!
So my “WHY” in all of this, is so that I can help you, or any other women you know, never have to go through what I went through. I want to help you live the life you were meant to live, happy, healthy, and vibrant. I am not the weak woman I was before…I am stronger now. I don’t look the way I did before, I am stronger now. I don’t think the way I used to, I am stronger now. I don’t take life for granted. I live life now! I want you to live your best life now because I have been through the struggle. Maybe your struggle isn’t the same as mine, but still, a struggle is a struggle no matter what it is. I can help you overcome yours and teach you how to reclaim your health.
I used to hate exercise, but now I love it. I used to have no energy and eat crap. Now I feel energized every day and use food to fuel my body, not soothe it. I have learned how to deal with stress and keep my mind set on the positive. Most of all, I have set the example for my son to lead a healthy lifestyle. He is a stubborn 12 year old boy that has a love for football. He started working with my trainer and has now developed a love for exercising and getting stronger. After much convincing he tried the 21 day reset and realized very quickly how much better he felt when he ate healthy food. While he is still a kid learning how to live a primal lifestyle, he asks questions daily and is soaking in all the knowledge. It is our duty to teach our children how to be the healthiest versions of themselves so they can pass the same information to their children.
